Ways to become happy

The past two years have been tough for a lot of people and for different reasons.  Whatever is going on with you, here are some ways to become happy.

Depression

We all get depressed from time to time and that’s a normal part of life.  Life can’t always go the way we’d like it to and when it doesn’t, we may get depressed.  Still, some people may have a harder time with dealing with things.  It doesn’t make anyone better than anyone – it’s just the way it is.

If you’re one of those people that has struggled with life, there’s nothing wrong with you and you shouldn’t feel badly.  But, we do need to get you to a place where you are more able to cope with life.  I hope to be able to help you because I’ve been there and I’ve come out of it.  I’ll show you ways to become happy here.

How to be a happier person

There are countless ways to become happy that are all over the internet.  Plus, there are so many self-help books that you could never possibly read all of them.  If you even read one, you’d walk away feeling like it wasn’t helpful.  Sure, there are some good tips in some of them but you don’t ever feel like you will overcome the problems you are facing.  I’m here to tell you it’s normal.

Why some people are happier than others

Did you know that what happens to you in your life only accounts for 10% of your happiness?  That may sound low, especially to some, but according mindbodygreen.com, it’s true.  Of course, genes play a role but the outlook you have on life has the most weight.  If you predisposed to thinking negatively because of things that have happened in your life or how you were raised, there is hope.

I can tell you from experience that if you are constantly ruminating about the past or trying to control how things will go in the future, this will make you unhappy – and keep you there.

What I learned

Throughout my journey, I tried so many different things.  I read some of those self-help books and there is one thing that fascinated me when it came to how I felt.  That one thing was the brain.  The brain is an amazing organ and we really do have the ability to change our thoughts.  I also learned that it isn’t easy to do, especially if you’ve been conditioned to always fear the worst.

Here is how I figured out how to become happy:

1. The first thing was to stand up for myself.  I knew how I wanted to be treated and if I wasn’t getting the love and support I needed, then I needed to make some changes.  This, by far, was the hardest part.
   1. Whether this means walking away from a relationship or a job, you have to be true to yourself and do what’s right for you.  Once that happens, it’s time to start the healing process…
2. Of course, you’ll need support people around you but not everyone has that.  No matter if you have that or not, initially, you are strong enough and you don’t need it.  If you have it, great – but I can tell you, you don’t need it.  You’re a strong cookie.
   1. Instead, work on yourself – do the things you enjoy.  Focus on you.  Yes, this may sound selfish, but it’s OK at this point.  You deserve a little break.
3. Once you get through that phase, you may soon discover one of two things:
   1. You actually had support around you but you couldn’t see it.
   2. You don’t care if you have support because you truly don’t need it – surprisingly, though, you’ll find ones along your journey.
4. Continue to do what you love but now share it.  You can volunteer or help a friend.  Start a hobby, play an instrument, or work in the garden and share the fruits of your labor.  This is part of the healing process.
5. Start training your brain to be in the moment.  Anytime you start to dwell about the past or worry about the future, bring yourself back to the present.  In those self-help books, this is called mindfulness.  You can start meditating, if you feel this will help you.
6. Before long, you won’t even realize it but you’ll feel happier.  One day, things will shift.  I promise you.  You’ll feel beautiful and you’ll even notice that your skin is glowing too!

Please send me your comments because I’d love to hear from you.  You aren’t alone – even if you feel like you are.  If you are feeling hopeless, I urge you to reach out to someone or to call the suicide prevention help line:  988.