Happiness and the Mind

I’ve talked about mental health before, especially during Suicide Prevention Month.  I want to keep the conversation going, though, because September isn’t the only time we need to think about mental health.  Happiness and the mind are important to talk about often.

Being Happy

Being happy just doesn’t come naturally to people.  Sure, some people have a happy outlook on life while others struggle in that regard.  For those that feel good all the time – or at least most of the time, that’s great!  If you’re on the other side of that, it can be frustrating.  You might wonder what you’re doing wrong or why are bad things constantly happening to you.

Being Unhappy

There are many reasons you might be struggling and each one is valid for you.  Don’t let anyone tell you different.  Here are some of the top reasons people are unhappy.  Do any of these look familiar:

• Illness – are you ill or perhaps someone you care about?  This can be very stressful and lead some to depression.
• Conflicts in relationships – if people closest to you have conflicts with you or others around you, this can cause depression and anxiety.  It’s hard when people don’t get along.
• Problems at work – do you love your job?  Not everyone does and when you’re not doing something you like doing, it can make for a long day.  Eventually, it can lead to depression.
• Lose your job?  – If you’ve lost your job, this can be very stressful and if you don’t find something else quick enough, here comes depression.
• Goals not being met? – Do you have a goal that you can’t seem to attain?  It’s frustrating and you start doubting yourself.
• Abuse – in any form, this is a huge contributor to unhappiness.
• You don’t feel accepted – maybe you feel different from others or maybe you know that people won’t accept you for who you are.  When we don’t feel good about ourselves, our happiness dips way down.

Boost happiness

There are many ways to boost your happiness – no matter how you feel.  If the problem is from relationships, this is really hard because you don’t want to sever relationships.  There are times when leaving a relationship is the only answer but only you know this.

If the relationship is so toxic, you may have to leave but if it’s a matter of standing up for yourself – whether to your partner or your employer – then you need to do that.  Gather the strength to do what you need to do.  You may have to have a talk with your spouse / partner or your HR department.  You’ll need to be prepared for any outcome, though, and know you’ll be strong enough to handle it.

If your problems stem from illness, taking care of yourself should be your #1 goal.  Eating well, getting enough sleep, and getting exercise (as allowed) will be important.

For those of you that don’t feel accepted, I’m sorry because this should never happen.  You are a wonderful person and if there are people in your life that don’t accept you, then it’s their problem.  I know it still happens, though – and it hurts – badly.  I’m here to tell you that you are enough.  Work on not caring what other people say or think about you.  There will always be people in this world that aren’t accepting but you need to move past them and live your life so that you are happy.

Happiness and the Mind

This list isn’t the whole list – there are very specific reasons why you may be unhappy and only you know them.  Sometimes we just need to make some changes in our lives and sometimes we need help from outside sources.

Lastly, a very popular neuroscientist, Dr. Amen, believes in several ways to boost happiness.  The ones you’ll want to try are:

• Eating the right foods
• Have a reason to get up in the morning.
• Understand yourself – when you understand who you are, you won’t care about what other people think about you.
• Be grateful – this one is huge.  Many people will tell you just to be positive.  I’m sorry, but this doesn’t work for people who are struggling.  What does help (although it takes time) is to be grateful.  Every day, be grateful for at least one thing.

If you feel your situation has gotten to a point that it’s life threatening, please get help.  Here’s a link to some articles about Suicide Prevention and the number to call if you need help.  May is Mental Health Month so watch out for more happiness and the mind articles!