Feeling out of Place
If you’re feeling out of place and perhaps feeling small, negative thoughts might be the reason. Negative thoughts that keep going ’round and ’round in your head could be why you are feeling blue. There could be many reasons for it. I want you to know you’re not alone. I’ve felt the same at many different times of my life and situations.
Feeling Stupid
Recently, I had a situation where I was always feeling stupid at work. I had a boss who pushed and pushed and pushed. There was never making them happy. Because I have such a strong work ethic, I would constantly try to please my boss. But, each “event” turned into “not enough” so I would try harder. If you’ve ever had that happen to you and you were feeling small, I understand. Eventually, I had to remove myself from the situation. It was unhealthy. And, while it was super scary, I knew I needed to get away – just for my own mental health.
Depression
It was unfortunate because the project was moving along yet the demands were so unreasonable that it wasn’t good for me. I knew that if the project stayed on track, my boss would end up with a nice bonus check; whereas I would end up with a heart attack had I kept going the way I was going. I was already having physical effects from the stress. It was becoming increasingly clear to me that my boss wasn’t worried about my health or that of my co-workers. I became depressed. Eventually, I realized that I couldn’t take it anymore.
What did I do?
Initially, I constantly questioned myself and if I was doing something wrong. There was a constant loop in my head saying:
- What could have I done instead?
- Why did I do it “that” way?
- What should I have done differently?
- I should have pushed everyone else.
- I’m so stupid.
It was a constant rumination that was not serving me well. So, I stopped it by catching myself every time I had this loop going (or most times – I mean, I’m not perfect!). It was REALLY hard! But, when I realized that I couldn’t keep suffering like that, my thoughts started to change. And, when my thoughts changed, I realized the situation was unhealthy and I needed to do something about it. I was ready to let go of this part of my life so that I could move on. I hated feeling out of place.
How to move on
I acknowledge that walking away is incredibly hard. Whether it is from a demanding boss or an abusive relationship, standing up for yourself can be frightening. I had to grieve the relationship – the relationship I had with my employer. That may sound strange but I grieved. I was scared for the next step because I didn’t know what was around the corner. So, here are the steps I want you do do when you are ready to move on. We’ll make this our Day 12 of our 30 Day Challenge Self Confidence.
- Acknowledge you are hurt / being hurt / were hurt.
- Ask yourself if you’ve suffered enough. (The answer should be yes.)
- Then, ask yourself if you continue to ruminate, would this serve you?
- If you continue to stay in the situation, would it serve you?
- Decide and when you’re ready…
- Walk away…move on…be FREE!
Feel the Depression lift as soon as you make that decision. Sure, there will still be some things you need to figure out but once you stand up for yourself, you will feel AMAZING.
Let me know in the comments what situations you’ve that you were feeling out of place and how you overcame them. I’d love to hear your stories.
